so i live with my cousin and she’s got this newish boyfriend who thinks her fear of anal sex is HILARIOUS (which it is) and he brings it up as often as possible to make her uncomfortable.
so we’re hanging out in our room and i’m playing batman and she’s on the phone with him and she pauses and looks at me like
“are you ever going to let your boyfriend put it in your butt? like, that’s gross, right?”

no ma’am, missionary only for this girl.
*snicker*